I love the opening line. It's beautiful. I know that feeling all too well. Like you make a new years resolution but you don't feel any different the next day. I love this poem. Please keep writing!
I think I liked your first poem better. Not that this poem sucks...but I felt like your first poem said more. Maybe it was just more philosophical.
This poem was vague. You talk about this unhappiness. This discontent. And then you solve the problem (in one freaking line) without even telling us what it was.
I love the idea of thinking about the past as if it's happening now. But I wanted more from you in this poem. Brevity is good sometimes, but not when it affects the reader's understanding.
I really like the repetition in it, and I like the meaning of the poem. It makes sense. Like the problem is solved, yet you still wish you could go back to what caused the problem in the first place and that's what makes it feel like it's happening now. I also like how you used the font to add meaning to the poem. Good job!
Dear Mr. Warhol, I felt the repetition of NOW Was effective and, in a way, quite painful; as though the experience relived was stabbing the speaker again and again in reverie. Great work; however, I do expect that a wider variety in your diction and perhaps a longer poem will be more effective. Sincerely, Genevive Louise Noette
I love the opening line. It's beautiful. I know that feeling all too well. Like you make a new years resolution but you don't feel any different the next day. I love this poem. Please keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI like this alot, and i really like how it keeps building up more and more. Much better second poem.
ReplyDeleteI think I liked your first poem better. Not that this poem sucks...but I felt like your first poem said more. Maybe it was just more philosophical.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was vague. You talk about this unhappiness. This discontent. And then you solve the problem (in one freaking line) without even telling us what it was.
I love the idea of thinking about the past as if it's happening now. But I wanted more from you in this poem. Brevity is good sometimes, but not when it affects the reader's understanding.
I really like the repetition in it, and I like the meaning of the poem. It makes sense. Like the problem is solved, yet you still wish you could go back to what caused the problem in the first place and that's what makes it feel like it's happening now. I also like how you used the font to add meaning to the poem. Good job!
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Warhol,
ReplyDeleteI felt the repetition of NOW Was effective and, in a way, quite painful; as though the experience relived was stabbing the speaker again and again in reverie. Great work; however, I do expect that a wider variety in your diction and perhaps a longer poem will be more effective.
Sincerely,
Genevive Louise Noette