Journey

Our story begins with our unnamed main character, whose friendly, expect-the-best-from-everyone attitued will be a vital part of the coming events. Years after college graduation, he still is unemployed because an occupation in unneccesary, considering he inherited enough to sustain a comfortable lifestyle from his father. At first he really enjoys being able to go out and frolic through flowers, or giving homeless people spare change he finds in waterfountains. Eventually, however, these activities become boring and unsatisfying, so he decides to get a job to pass the time. He decides to become a middle school teacher, because he thought early teens would be pleasant to work with (he was homeschooled.)

His first day teaching, he walked in the door with his lesson plan in his arms and a big smile on his face whistling a familiar tune when.....WHAM........a huge wet spit wad slaps his face like the hand of an angry girl on Russel Crows face. Shocked at first, he quickly shrugged it off thinking that that was just a wayward child. He was wrong. His first period class was terrible. So was his 2nd...and his 3rd. By the time his 4th period class came along he was curled up like a pig's tail on the ground, crying. The children, never seeing a 34 year old man cry before, showed no compassion, laughing and throwing things at him.

After work, with every intention to quit the following morning, he drove to get himself some chinese food at his favorite restaraunt. As he is finished and rubbing the orange from the chicken off his face, he reaches for fortune cookie, cracks it open and reads: Wisdom comes with age. You’ll also receive wrinkles, constipation, and nose hairs. Realizing the failure of the schooling systems, and also realizing he can help change it he decides to not quit and endure the hardships and continue to teach. But realizing that he needs a defense, he goes to a local dollar store and purchases a small book of useful combacks. Upon returning home, he memorized as many insults as possible, prepared his lesson, and went to bed.

The next day at school, the students came in expecting to take control, and mocked him because he actually tried to teach a lesson. They called him fat. He told them they were ugly and he could always go on a diet. One after another the kids pitched insults and he smashed back insults. He even, got to teach a little in each period because the students gave up.

He thought that he was home free with ten minutes to go in 4th period, when, the biggest, meanest, fatest, most intimidating kid in the whole school got out of his desk and faced the teacher. They stood face to face like an old western shootout. The teacher held his ground like a cowboy who knew his enemy was a bad aim and waited. Insult after insult he waited. Then, finally, he reached in his comeback holster and pulled out this out: "I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce."

They kid cried and ran home.

From then on out that teacher was the best, most favorite teacher in the middle school until the day he stopped eating (which was about seven months later, when he died from complications during a vasectomy.)

Hero: The teacher.
Ordinary World: Leasurly, lazy life.
Call to Adventure: Becoming a teacher.
Special World: Middle School.